One day, in line at the company cafeteria, John says to Ken behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I think I need to see a doctor.”
“Listen John, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Ken replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore around the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs only ten dollars… A hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor visit.”
So John pees in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars. The computer then lights up and asks for the urine sample. John pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout… You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, John began wondering if the computer could be tricked. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. John then hurries back to the drugstore, eager to try to trick the computer. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits for the results.
Ten seconds later, the computer spits out the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Wash him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a good lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.